My Baby Sleeps… So Why Can’t I?!
One of the most frustrating things I felt as a new parent:
“My baby sleeps well now — but I still don’t.”
And honestly? That makes complete sense.
Months (or for some parents years) of broken sleep, stress, adrenaline, and being constantly “on” don’t magically resolve the moment your baby starts sleeping through. Adult sleep is surprisingly fragile — and once it’s disrupted for long enough, it often needs some intentional rebuilding.
The good news? You don’t need perfect sleep hygiene or a total lifestyle overhaul. You need a few high-impact habits, done consistently.
Here are the most effective, science-backed ways to improve your sleep quality, energy, and overall feel-good factor.
1. Get Outside Early (Even for 10 Minutes)
Why it matters:
Morning light is the strongest signal for your body clock. Getting daylight into your eyes early helps regulate your circadian rhythm, improves daytime alertness, and supports melatonin release later that night — which means better sleep quality.
What this looks like in real life:
Try to get outside within 90 minutes of waking, even if it’s just for 10 minutes around the block.
A very parent-friendly way to do this:
Do your baby’s first nap on the go in the pram, or
Prioritise an outside activity first thing, rather than saving it for later
You get daylight, gentle movement, and a mental reset — without adding another task to your day.
2. Delay Caffeine (Just a Little)
Why it matters:
Your cortisol (the hormone that helps you wake up) naturally rises 30–45 minutes before waking. When you drink caffeine immediately on waking, you stack cortisol on top of cortisol — which can actually make you feel more anxious and worsen afternoon energy crashes
Let cortisol rise and settle naturally first.
A realistic tip:
If you love coffee first thing (same), try:
Decaf on waking (honestly a good decaf tastes the same)
Your first caffeinated coffee around 9am
You still get the ritual — but your nervous system will thank you later. I started doing this and I have noticed a profound difference in how relaxed I feel in the morning (and it’s not like i ever got jittery from caffiene)
3. Keep a Consistent Wake Time (Even After a Bad Night)
Why it matters:
Wake time anchors your body clock more powerfully than bedtime. Sleeping in after a rough night delays circadian alignment and often leads to another poor night.
Parent reality check:
If you have young kids, consistency is probably happening anyway — whether you like it or not. Lean into it. Aim to wake within the same 30–45 minute window each day.
4. Dim the Lights in the Evening
Why it matters:
Bright overhead lights suppress melatonin and tell your brain it’s still daytime.
What helps:
Before your child goes to bed:
Turn off the “big light”
Use lamps or warm bulbs
Keep the environment visually calm
5. Help Your Body Cool Down Before Bed
Why it matters:
To fall asleep, your core body temperature needs to drop. That’s why sleep onset is easier in a cool room.
What helps:
A warm shower or bath (counterintuitively helps you cool afterwards)
A slightly cooler bedroom
Light layers rather than overheating
Think: cosy, not sweaty. The perfect room temperature is between 16-20 degrees c.
6. Don’t Train Your Brain to Be Awake in Bed
Why it matters:
If you lie awake stressed, scrolling or clock-watching, your brain starts associating bed with alertness instead of sleep.
What to do instead:
If you can’t sleep after ~ 20 minutes:
Get up (don’t watch tv or sit on your phone)
Keep lights low
Read, stretch, or listen to something calm
Return to bed when sleepy again.
This breaks the “bed = battle” loop.
7. Create a Wind-Down Routine (Yes, You Need One Too)
Why it matters:
Sleep doesn’t happen on command. Your nervous system needs a transition from doing → resting.
Keep it simple:
You don’t need perfection — just predictability.
For example:
Phone down (I turn my phone off and leave it to charge in living room so bedroom is a phone free space)
Skincare
Herbal tea
Book or podcast
Lights low and into snuggly pjs
Lie in bed and think about the day’s highlights
Sound familiar?
It’s the same reason bedtime routines work so well for kids.
8. Move Your Body (Earlier Is Better)
Why it matters:
Regular movement improves sleep depth and quality. Intense exercise too late can be stimulating, but gentle movement earlier helps regulate energy.
Parent-friendly options:
Walking with the pram
Playground time
A short stretch or mobility routine while baby naps
It doesn’t need to be a workout — consistency matters more than intensity.
A Final Thought
I’ll be honest — I didn’t always prioritise my own sleep once my baby started sleeping better. I assumed my body would just catch up. It didn’t.
When I actually committed to trying these habits for a week — getting outside early, delaying caffeine, dimming the lights at night, and having a proper wind-down — I noticed a real shift. Not perfect sleep. Not 8 uninterrupted hours. But I felt calmer at night, less wired when I got into bed, and more like myself during the day.
That’s what I want parents to know: this isn’t about chasing perfect sleep. It’s about stacking small, realistic habits that help your nervous system feel safe enough to rest again.
You’ve spent a long time being on high alert. It makes sense that your body needs a bit of support to switch gears.
Start with one or two changes. Give them a few days. See how you feel.
Your sleep doesn’t have to stay broken just because it once was.